How to Make Requests Politely in Japanese: kudasai, onegaishimasu, itadakemasu ka
19 June 2026
🎯 Want to actually speak Japanese, not just read about it? Practise with a friendly tutor for about the price of a coffee — try a lesson on italki → Affiliate link — supports Wakoku at no extra cost to you.
Asking for something is one of the first things you’ll actually do in Japanese — order a coffee, ask someone to wait, request a little help. The good news is that Japanese gives you a clear, reliable toolkit for it. The tricky part is choosing the right level of politeness so you sound natural rather than too blunt or oddly stiff.
This guide walks you through the three workhorses every learner needs — kudasai, onegaishimasu, and the more polite itadakemasu ka — plus a simple politeness ladder so you always know which one fits the moment.
The two everyday workhorses: kudasai and onegaishimasu
Most polite requests in daily life come down to these two. They overlap, but they aren’t interchangeable.
ください (kudasai) literally means “please give me.” It attaches in two ways:
- Noun + を + ください — to ask for a thing: 水をください (mizu o kudasai) “Water, please.”
- Verb in て-form + ください — to ask for an action: 待ってください (matte kudasai) “Please wait.”
That second pattern is why the て-form is worth drilling early — it unlocks requests, permission, and a dozen other grammar points.
お願いします (onegaishimasu) literally means “I make a request” and feels softer and warmer than kudasai. It attaches to nouns, not to a verb’s て-form:
- これをお願いします (kore o onegaishimasu) “This one, please.”
- お会計をお願いします (o-kaikei o onegaishimasu) “The bill, please.”
| You want | kudasai | onegaishimasu |
|---|---|---|
| A thing (noun) | 水をください | 水をお願いします |
| An action (verb) | 待ってください | ✗ (can’t attach to て-form) |
| Ordering / a service | works | often more natural |
| Getting attention politely | – | お願いします (on its own) |
A handy rule of thumb: if you can point at it, either works; if you’re asking someone to do something, reach for て + ください. When in a restaurant or shop, onegaishimasu tends to sound a touch more polite and gracious.
The politeness ladder
Japanese requests aren’t just “polite or rude” — there’s a smooth gradient. Here’s the same request, “please wait,” climbing from casual to very formal.
| Level | Japanese | Romaji | Use with |
|---|---|---|---|
| Casual | 待って | matte | Close friends, family |
| Casual softer | 待ってくれる？ | matte kureru? | Friends (asking a favor) |
| Standard polite | 待ってください | matte kudasai | Most everyday situations |
| Polite question | 待ってくれませんか | matte kuremasen ka | Slightly softer, polite |
| More polite | 待ってもらえますか | matte moraemasu ka | Strangers, service staff |
| Most polite (keigo) | 待っていただけますか | matte itadakemasu ka | Customers, superiors, business |
| Extra deferential | 待っていただけないでしょうか | matte itadakenai deshou ka | Big favors, formal settings |
Two things worth noticing. First, questions are softer than statements — asking “could you wait?” gives the other person room to decline, which is exactly why it feels more polite. Second, the negative question forms (くれませんか, いただけませんか) sound more polite than the positive ones in Japanese, even though “won’t you…?” might feel pushy in English. It’s the opposite of the English instinct, so it’s worth memorizing as a set.
itadakemasu ka: the polite request you’ll lean on
Once you step into shops, hotels, offices, or any situation with a stranger, 〜ていただけますか (te itadakemasu ka) becomes your best friend. It comes from いただく, the humble form of もらう (“to receive”), so you’re literally saying “may I receive the favor of you doing X?”
- 教えていただけますか (oshiete itadakemasu ka) “Could you tell me?”
- もう一度言っていただけますか (mou ichido itte itadakemasu ka) “Could you say that once more?”
- 写真を撮っていただけますか (shashin o totte itadakemasu ka) “Could you take a photo?”
Make it even gentler with the negative: 〜ていただけませんか (te itadakemasen ka). And for a genuinely big ask, 〜ていただけないでしょうか layers on extra humility. You don’t need to produce these flawlessly on day one — but recognizing them means you’ll understand staff and clients when they use them on you.
”Please don’t”: negative requests
To ask someone not to do something, use the negative て-form, 〜ないでください (naide kudasai):
- ここで写真を撮らないでください (koko de shashin o toranaide kudasai) “Please don’t take photos here.”
- 心配しないでください (shinpai shinaide kudasai) “Please don’t worry.”
You’ll see these on signs all over Japan, so they’re as useful for reading as for speaking.
”Please let me”: asking permission as a request
A close cousin is 〜させてください (sasete kudasai), “please let me ___,” built from the causative form. It’s how you politely volunteer or ask to do something yourself.
- 説明させてください (setsumei sasete kudasai) “Please let me explain.”
- 少し考えさせてください (sukoshi kangae sasete kudasai) “Please let me think a little.”
Putting it together: a quick reference
Here are common situations with a natural choice for each.
| Situation | Natural request |
|---|---|
| Ordering in a café | コーヒーをお願いします (kōhī o onegaishimasu) |
| Asking the bill | お会計をお願いします (o-kaikei o onegaishimasu) |
| Asking someone to wait | ちょっと待ってください (chotto matte kudasai) |
| Asking a stranger to repeat | もう一度お願いします (mou ichido onegaishimasu) |
| Asking staff to help | 手伝っていただけますか (tetsudatte itadakemasu ka) |
| Asking a friend a favor | これ、お願いできる？ (kore, onegai dekiru?) |
| Asking someone not to smoke | タバコを吸わないでください (tabako o suwanaide kudasai) |
A small but powerful add-on: starting with すみません (sumimasen), “excuse me / sorry,” before a request instantly softens it. すみません、写真を撮っていただけますか lands far more gracefully than launching straight in.
How to practice this week
Pick one request you’ll genuinely use — ordering your morning drink, asking someone to wait, requesting a photo — and learn it at two levels: the everyday て + ください version and the polite 〜ていただけますか version. Say both out loud until they’re automatic, then add すみません to the front.
If you’re heading to Japan, building a small stock of these polite requests pays off immediately at counters, stations, and restaurants. You can grab a ready-made set of these in our travel phrases tool and start drilling the ones you’ll actually need.
Requests are a skill you’ll use every single day in Japanese, and unlike a lot of grammar, the payoff is instant: say it right and someone helps you, smiles, and the whole interaction feels smoother. Master kudasai, onegaishimasu, and itadakemasu ka, and you’ve covered the vast majority of polite asks you’ll ever need.